Story: Sales A Tale of Woe and A Tale of Joy

24th November 2015 | By Frances Pratt

Sales Loser

Once upon a time ...

.... there was a creepy, greasy sales person … you know one right?   We picture them as being pushy, intimidating and really only looking out for themselves.  

One day Mr Loser (that’s his codename) was out plying his trade and he came across a new recruit.  He thought that he would take him under his wing and teach him how to sell … the Loser Way:

Sales Loser Lesson 1: Start by talking 

Mr Loser took put his hand around the new recruits shoulder and started telling him what to do to "win" at sales!

“Remember you don’t have very long to convince the person to buy … so don’t worry about asking them any questions, I know all the answers anyway.  We just have to well sort of bully them into saying yes and taking the product.  So to do that you have to talk, and talk, and talk about how great the product is, how everyone has one and you would be missing out.”

“Then I like to add in a bit of incentive … like … it’s the last one we have – you don’t want to be the only person in the WORLD that doesn’t have one… how embarrassing.”

Sales Loser Lesson 2: Handle objections

Mr Loser hated objections … they just got in the way of the client saying yes.  So he would make the person feel STUPID for even mentioning their concerns and would wave them away with his hand and move on!  To get them to YES !

Sales Loser Lesson 3: Leave negotiations to the end of the sale.

The new recruit looked perplexed … “but don’t we have to learn about what they want to buy and then use that to help them make the decision?”

Mr Loser had a look of absolute disbelief …. “I’m just glad I got to you before someone else who didn’t know what they were doing got you to believe that rubbish!” he assured the new recruit.

Now lad, the reason that we leave negotiations until the end is that we only really have price to bargain with.  Once we drop the price a bit .. that helps to convince people that they really have to buy it now.  That’s after we have badgered them into a corner where they can’t get out.”

Sales Loser Lesson 4: ABC: ALWAYS BE CLOSING

Now lad, if you take nothing else from our chat today … then take this.  Look for every opportunity to ask them to buy!  Always have in the back of your mind … on repeat …. ‘are you going to buy yet ???’”   As Mr Loser was saying this there was a slightly evil twinkle in his eye.

Now dear reader ... 

I am sure in reading this story … you are nodding, grimacing and laughing.   We have all met and run away from a Mr Loser.  I know that people sell this way … but there is a better (and more successful way).  

Back to the story ...

Just then, Ms Champion walked in the door. She was the MOST successful sales person in the company and the BIGGEST rival of Mr Loser.  He hated her!  Ms Champion took one look at the terrified new recruit and decided to save him from the clutches of Mr Loser.

“Now let’s go and have a cuppa – you look like you could use a break.” Said Ms Champion as she deftly steered the new recruit away and into the staff canteen. 

"Hi," she said "My name is Carla.  What's yours?"

The new recruit smiled for the first time today.  “Bob.  Thank you.”

“So Bob, your first day huh.  How you finding it so far?” Carla said with an open smile and just waited and listened.

Bob was so surprised that someone was smiling and listening that it took him a few minutes to answer.  Carla noticed that Bob was feeling a little squeamish.  

Carla started by explaining; “Let me guess … have you been talking to Mr Loser?  He does tend to grab the newbies on their way in the door.  Now don’t worry … let me run you through how we operate here.”

Carla started to explain how she operated using some simple rules about how to get along with customers.  She has a 4-step sales process.  That goes like this:

Sales Champion

Sales Champion Step 1: Start by listening

Our first job is to understand who our customers are and what they want.  We can only do this if we ask questions, listen and ask more questions.  We need to understand WHAT our customers want to buy and why.  What problem they want to solve and how they want to do that.

Sales Champion Step 2:  Find Fit

Look for how we can help them solve the problem and help them understand what the process of buying and implementing that would look like for them and how it would help them.

Sometimes, this means we don’t have anything to offer, and need to help them find an alternative supplier or solution.

Sales Champion Step 3: Look for objections

Objections are your friend.  Objections tell you that the person is really thinking about what you do and they want to know more.  So listen and look out for objections and make sure you answer them as fully as possible and ask if there are any more. 

The more you listen, the more you get to know your customer and the better you are able to help them. 

Sales Champion Step 4: ABC = Always Be Creating Value

  • Value for you.  Charge what you are worth and what people are willing to pay.
  • Value for your customer.  So that they go away happy with what you have delivered and think you have added value to them.
  • Value to your team and company.  Make sure you represent the company in a great light and help your team members wherever possible so that we can all do the best possible job for the client.
  • Value to the community.  Look out for opportunities to help others in our community so that we can help and add value where we can.


Bob was so relieved that he nearly fainted!  Great he thought, those rules sound simple and like I am really going to love working here and helping our customers.

The moral to the story is ...

Be yourself, listen to others and don't be bullied into being a sales bully.

Bob followed Ms Champions advice and lived happily every after!

Download the full graphic here as a PDF

For the love of selling !

Like what you've read, and want to know more

Why not have a look at my FREE ebook on the 11 Secrets of Sales Champions ... specifically for people who honestly hate sales!

Get FREE Sales Secrets ebook now

Get Social!
Follow Me on Pinterest

Leave a comment...

Would love to hear your thoughts .... go on!